To understand the path toward a world outside that is non-violent, one has to realize that violence is a phenomenon that is created and resides inside ourselves. The only way to create a world outside that is free from violence is to create an inner world within ourselves that is non-violent.
The triggers for creating violence within ourselves are instantly driven when we take on any form of responsibility. Merriam-Webster defines responsibility as “the state of being the person who caused something to happen.”
What causes us to take on responsibility? In many ways this is simply taking ownership over one’s action. When we are growing up, our guardian usually takes ownership over our actions but it is only when we start to take ownership over our own actions to change or deal with a situation that we start to execute responsibility.
The spectrum by which we make the shift from being dependent on others to being independent is fairly large and varies from individual to individual. In some situations it may take a while to become truly independent based on cultural upbringing or for more family centric societies. In other situations where there may be single parent relationship or no legal guardian, these children will start to exhibit greater forms of responsibility more quickly than other kids living in more stable households.
So what exactly is the correlation between responsibility and violence?
It’s this – as soon as we start to take ownership for our actions, we also start to bear the consequences of that action – and it’s the negative consequence of that action that can increase the violence within ourselves.
This negative consequence is something that can take many forms, for example:
- Personal expectations not being met
- Goals and objectives of a task not being achieved
- Other people’s reaction to your action in the form in of dissatisfaction, resentment, or anger
- Unworthiness of self or just not being good enough
Responsibility starts by taking ownership of action based on personal circumstance. For example, a male child of 14 years old, whose father died unexpectedly and whose mother is unable to work due to a physical condition, may need to leave school to get a job to support his mother. However, the child’s mom is just not happy with the amount of money the child brings in and constantly scolds the child by telling him or her that they are not “good enough and need to earn more.” The stresses within the child now increase and so does the anger toward the mom.
This is a fairly simple example but it demonstrates a few things we need to be cognizant of that cause us to become violent. A situation causes us to take more responsibility. In this case the father died unexpectedly leaving the child, mother who cannot work to survive.The child had a leave school to get a job to earn money to support the family. The child is doing everything in his power to support the family and the mom is unsatisfied. The child was never angry under the support of his father and now has increased tension with his mom.
There are numerous examples like this that shape our own personal situation but the bottom line is this – violence can be created within ourselves based on circumstance and/or decisions we take to change a situation. To understand why we become violent, we need to be more cognizant of pain-bodies (i.e., anger, frustration, anxiety, stress, etc.) that are created within ourselves based on our situations and/or our personal actions.
We are all born non-violent – it is the environment that we are raised in, the circumstances we need to deal with, the actions we take to change the situation, and in many cases the people that we hang around with that can increase the bodies of pain that reside within us.
Eliminate the bodies of pain, and you start to move toward a more non-violent self. Duplicate this many times over, person-by-person, and you now start to create an outside world without violence.