It’s funny how human behavior is always seeking something – a better partner, a better home, a better car, a better life, more happiness – the list can go on forever.
We are never really happy with anything that we have. We have everything available to us with all the opportunities in the world and we are still grumpy and unsatisfied. We can’t make our minds sit still just like we can’t have our idea of wanting things still sit. Somehow, our human instinct doesn’t believe in the concept of keeping our minds and our bellies full. We are always running short of full satisfaction.
Look at the way you live. If like most people you have access to clean water, good schools, great friendships, semi-continuous electricity, access to technology, public transportation, and decent roads I would say you are doing really well. But we are still not satisfied – we use more water than needed, more electricity than needed, we want all the latest technological gadgets available to us, and we want even more friends than what we have.
What does this all mean? Could it be that we are really incompatible with ourselves? You may be saying – what the heck is this guy talking about?
Look at it more closely though. As we want more of what we already have and more and more on top of that, look at the difference between what you had in the past with whatever you claimed is temporary satisfaction, against what you want to have in the future with whatever your preconceived dream of satisfaction is envisioned as – the difference is an area that I call self-incompatibility. It occurs when we feel a situation or material object is imperfect and it will only be perfect in a future situation.
Forget the stuff for a second about speaking about incompatibility with others – that you don’t get along with your spouse, some friends, family members, or your boss at work. Set aside the thinking about having irreconcilable differences with others and think about what is really going on. The reality is that you have irreconcilable differences within yourself.
How do you expect to be compatible with others if you can’t even be compatible with yourself? How can you be satisfied with others if you can’t be satisfied with yourself? How can you make compromises with others if you are consistently unhappy with what you have and are looking for something better?
This is the reason why there are continuous breakups in relationships. Just look at dating for example. Why do you break up in one relationship just to start another, thinking things are sky-high and great, just to break up again and do it all over and over and over? Marriage is the same thing. We have affairs, adultery, etc. We are continuously creating so much negativity out there through these actions. We unnecessary stress ourselves out in relationships and with each other. We are never happy. Just like we are never happy with the material things in our life we are never happy with immaterial things such as friendships and marriage in our life.
When is this all going to stop?
Answer – it never will – unless we change our attitude about what our real needs and wants are, and create a mindset of full-satisfaction given any situation with anyone. How do you develop a mindset of full satisfaction? Try this:
- Become a glass half-full rather than a glass half-empty individual. Be positive about any circumstance and with any person. Realize that good will always be an outcome with any bad situation.
- Accept the current situation as the best thing in your life. Be happy with what you have right now. Accept everything as being perfect the way it was intended to be. There is no need to change anything.
- Accept the people around with all their flaws and imperfections. No one is perfect. Neither you nor I. This truth of realizing everything is imperfect is actually what makes us perfect.
- Take every negative situation with a grain of salt. Things are going to hit the roof. Chaos is a part of life. We are going to get unsettled. Don’t get too comfortable. When you are out of the comfort zone, you will start to live life.
- Don’t intentionally call something broken if you want something new. Don’t call a switch to something that may not be working temporarily. Relationships may go awry but can get back on track with proper help and communication. Be happy with what you can afford. Live within your means. Life is not a competition. Don’t seek things to show off to others. If you have an older car that gets you from point A to point B who cares what others think. If you have a first generation iPhone that works perfectly fine, be happy with that. Unless something is absolutely broken, don’t fix it by getting something new.
Remember, a mindset of complete satisfaction is your path toward self-compatibility. With practice, breaking down barriers within ourselves, will break down walls we put forth in front of others, making us more whole and perfect.