With the presence of the Internet and social media, we are becoming more reliant on using cyber platforms to communicate our message rather than non-technical platforms based on direct human-to-human interaction.
Before the presence of Internet-based technologies the idea of presence was more or less just showing up at the local get-together and hanging out.
Nowadays, we can tell anyone out there in the world what we are up to such as “just boarding a plane”, “sticking my legs out of the car”, to “just blew my nose.”
The platforms of asynchronous (not real time engagement) communication out there in the world are so much these days. These platforms include email, Twitter, FaceBook, Instagram, LinkedIn, mobile texting,etc. and can be used to send any message out there for someone to consume.
It’s becoming unclear to me what the REAL purpose of some of the tools, we use to quickly tell others something, are really intended to achieve.
It seems to me as if the conglomerates are forcing use to create more work for ourselves and expend energy typing useless sentences that really achieve no purpose whatsoever other than communicate basic actions that all human beings take. Where is the relevant news here?
The issue is not necessary being forced to use the technologies. The issue is sending out the same message repeatedly via all the different platforms. Another issue is talking to friends and others real-time about the same line of questions.
Are we over-communicating too much these days? I mean – do I really care about how well you flossed your teeth or spilt coffee on your shirt – again? Personally, I am really not concerned about these peddly little things that we want others to know about.
We have a serious problem today in that we are become overly dependent on Internet-based technologies as a way of portraying our presence. It’s too much presence and there is really nothing personal about it.
It’s as if we want to be the show of the party and the party is called the Internet. We want to walk right in and let everyone lay eyes on us. Is one of our hidden quests to seek too much attention through the the Internet?
Are you recognizing that the Internet is subliminally sucking up your energy by taking up your time away from doing real actions, to get you to randomly inform the world about what you are up to?
The habit of over-communicating via the Internet is also having an impact in human interaction. For example, we send out communications to friends confirming attendance to a party even after getting a response of “yes” on an on-line invite only to follow up with a personal phone call right after sending the online invite confirming the event – again. I personally find these kinds of actions irritating.
We are inundated with news from various sources about the same topics. We get the same random “walking the dog right now” message sent by folks via Twitter, Facebook, etc. We love talking about the same things over and over again.
We also love basic chit-chat on the same questions we ask friends constantly – how are you? How is work? How is school? How is the wife? How are the kids? How are your parents? We talk to friends and family about the same thing over and over and over again and we just don’t realize this is making the relationships go stale.
So, what to do? We can’t run away from friends and family, right? I am finding only one way to settle this: the interaction you establish must be organic and only you are responsible for keeping it this way. By organic – I mean natural, not forced.
You will know things are inorganic if you encounter the following cases constantly in your internations with others:
- You are fighting to figure out what question to ask next creating several awkward gaps of silence
- You are receiving quick one or two sentence responses to your questions with minimal questioning back
- The discussion is like pulling teeth, boring, and going no-where
- You are getting asked the same line of questions today as you received yesterday
Get my point? We are wasting our energy with random chit-chat both through online mediums and even personal face-to-face discussions that serves no purpose other than to deplete our levels of energy. This depletion of energy leads to frustration in the relationship and distancing.
So what to do?
- Stop telling the whole world about all the little things you did today like “took a breath”, “blinked my eyes” or “just passed gas.”
- Stop habits of repetitively contacting friends frequently via phone to go through the same script of questions.
- Make one of your personal operating habits meeting with friends in person. Even periodically meeting is exponentially better than constantly keeping in touch through texting, phone calls, etc.
- Don’t worry about gaps in communication – these can quickly be bridged if the relationship is meant to be; don’t sweat it if things just fall apart and you go separate ways.
- Take other people’s word based on the communication provided and don’t follow-up with a phone call or another message confirming their response right away.
- Limit redundant phone conversations to just a few minutes. Get whatever your need from the other person and put the phone down and do other more meaningful things.
- Don’t use your friends as a scapegoat for your loneliness. Their time is indispensable.