As I had suspected would one day happen – again – another school shooting.
It doesn’t matter if it’s an elementary school, high school, or college, the recent shootings have raised interesting questions in my mind – are kids overworked? Why are public and educational institutions breeding grounds for mass shootings for kids? Is there a correlation between the overworked child and mass shootings?
The recent incident of a high school near Seattle, WA brings some of these questions to light. The pundits out there will over analyze the situation and come to some conclusions based on recent incidents inside and outside the classroom, inside and outside the cyber-world, and inside and outside social media and personal relationships.
The question of gun control will come to light by politicians and – again – large vigils will be held to mourn the dead and to bring peace to mind. Crime scene investigators will interview friends and family to find out about their interactions and what caused such an erratic behavior.
Look, I am very sorry that this happened.
No one should be a victim of such a horrific incident. It’s time that we understand what is the trigger that transforms a simple peaceful mind to an out-of-control one that believes guns are the answer to shoot down personal problems.
We will pontificate over minutiae and try to find out what we can do to stop this from happening again. We will send out emails asking questions, increase the “it’s ok to talk” campaign, and even put together petitions for better gun control that will probably be a waste of energy leading to in-action by any elected official.
One question to be explored is whether can we can put the blame of the death on the shooter of the gun AND the owner, who may not be the same person?
I am not sure – could be an uphill battle for this one.
Now, humans are just plain tough to figure out. One day our mood is up, another down. Sometimes we get angry for no reason. Sometimes we get sad and just break out in tears. We do things habitually for no rhyme or reason.
To maintain a constant state of calm is actually something that we have not trained ourselves to do – not when we have to-do lists, responsibilities, and tons of extracurricular activities to deal with every single day of our lives.
We haven’t learned the art of sitting still. We are always on the go. We love being on the go – and we love telling others we are on the go. The sad thing is that if we are just lounging around – this is seen as being lazy by others and this is the biggest lie in the world.
Let’s bring things back in circle and raise the questions again – could there be a correlation between the amount of things kids these days are expected to do, the difficulty of constantly keeping a “life” to-do list, and the explosions of mass shootings at educational and other public institutions?
Are kids these days overworked, over-pressured, and unable to keep up with the demands of life and society? Furthermore, are kids even cognizant of these behavior patterns?
I am not saying that kids shouldn’t be doing a ton of things but I tell you – looking at people and their day-to-day schedules – they don’t understand the concept of down-time.
For example – how does a kid keep up with his email traffic, Facebook account, attend soccer practice, go to Tae Kwon Do, go to art class, go to Sunday school, work a job after school, play with his/her friends, go on dates, go to social events, and keep up with a “busy” schedule waking up at 530am to catch a 620am bus while sleeping at 1230am during the school week to finish up homework?
Wow! Just writing this I need to catch my breath. Phew!
Let’s keep going. Combine this with fear factors such as dealing with bullies at school, the threat of getting beat up, the dreaded breakup with their significant others, and being made fun of by friends at school and even relatives.
One more. Now combine this with parents or guardians that set high performance expectations and you are getting to the point of exhaustion and burn-out by the child. Mix in poor eating habits and you now have obesity to deal with.
Take a closer look at the accumulation of pain: before a child even gets to college they will have experienced immense stress in their lives in such a short period of time. Combine this with additional factors such as poverty, having a single parent, or even a parent suffering from a major illness and you have extreme emotional tension that is difficult to remedy with a simple hug.
How can a child deal with these matters? Yes, it seems easy to pick up the phone and call a hotline but children may push this off due to “lack of time.” Yes, they may talk to friends, but do they really help in deep familial personal matters? Yes, they can talk to parents but what if they are drunk or abusive? I am not sure how much help can be offered here.
It is no surprise that kids these days may be overworked and under-appreciated. This issue goes beyond financial and demographic boundaries. I think those parents and guardians know who they are and are fully aware they are pushing kids beyond limits.
When I was in high school (back in the day :-)) there were no cell phones and no Internet. We didn’t do PowerPoint presentations or carry around the latest technical gadgets. Social media was nothing more than reading the school newspaper. There were some violent video games but these were nothing compared to the graphic-intensive and reality based games today. All I did was play football with friends after school, eat dinner, do a small handful of personal hobby-like activities, and do my homework.
It’s interesting to me to see that historically recorded school shootings in the United States starting from 1764 to 1998 involved mostly single digit casualties. It wasn’t until 1999 in Littleton, Colorado that a mass shooting occurred where 15 people were killed, followed by 10 killings in 2005 in Red Lake, MN, 33 killings in 2007 at Virginal Tech University, and 28 casualties in 2012 in Newtown, Connecticut.
The most interesting outcome of these killings is that the shooter may have wanted to kill himself in the first place AND take others with him. The most interesting sexual characteristic is that all of the shooters were men.
The segmentation created by schools through superlatives, class title positions, and sports/hobby teams to name a few provides context to a subliminal caste system that is executed in some places in secrecy. Look at high school, for example – you have the battle between jocks and the debate team, those who went to homecoming dance and those who weren’t asked out, the distance between the “popular” kids and those who are ordinary, those freshmen kids vs. the seniors, those who take the bus to school and those who drive – catch what I am saying?
This segmentation combined with out of school activities, family/personal tensions, and early responsibilities that adults generally perform may cause anyone to explode in anger due to the competitive environment placed in front of them that is out of their control.
One way to circumvent this issue to build a life-style of simplicity by reducing the number of activities kids perform. The go-go-go mentality creates frustration and the only solution is to learn to take down-time – period!
I don’t know how much pressure kids are under these days to perform well that they can’t handle it. The trigger to pull the “trigger” can be attributable to a variety of factors but the end goal of the recent mass shootings seems to be the same – to end their life AND take out others on the way. Any of the key triggers of pain can be caused by:
- Inability to perform at school due to competition
- The drive to build that perfect College resume and demonstrate variety
- Bullying and being scared of others
- Keeping up with Parental demands and vision of excellence
- Multi-tasking and performing activities outside of school just jobs, sports, etc.
- Being made fun of repeatedly by other school children
- Having your lunch taken by another kid
- Getting robbed by another kid
- Bringing issues to teachers and counselors who do nothing to really help
- Being scared to talk about other kids in fear of getting beat up
- The inability to talk to friends and family due to their uninterested behaviors
The number of frustrated, overworked kids is going to increase. The number of shootings has increased and the number of mass shootings will also continue to increase – not just based on one root factor – but many accumulated over time, not only in the U.S. but in other parts of the world.
The false world that has been created where you need to be the most well-rounded, perfect person in the world and you need to push yourself to the limits to win and get ahead is a complete lie! In the end, you will look back and wonder who did you compete against – it was no one but yourself.
The only thing you need to be is yourself. The only performance you need to give is the best of your ability. Only you need to define what success is.
Grades are nothing but measuring sticks that illustrate that you know how to pass a particular teacher’s exam and can do some homework. College degrees are a great but will only get you that first job, not that promotion. Making the dean list is nice but means nothing if you are a jerk on many people’s friend’s list.
The real grade is how you survive in a world outside of school and work with others, not against them. Scale back all of the activities you are doing for a short period of time. Take a break from the schedule and to-do list.
Balance the go-go-go mentality with the slow-slow-slow mentality and you will start to relish the smallest things in life.
This small thing may just be something big like another human’s life.