Realize from the day you are born till the day you die, you are in a social network.
Look at this more closely. As soon as you are born you are placed in the hands of your mother and father forming the first social bond. Then you are raised in a family creating additional relationships and social bonds with your siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. As life progresses, you make friends creating more bonds. Then you go to school – more associations. You get a job creating further bonds.
As you age, you build bonds and connections with others throughout every situation in life. If you observe closely, even until the day you die you are generally surrounded by people in some capacity. Some people have deeper bonds than others, but these bonds still exist.
I can’t recall any situation out there that doesn’t require some sort of interaction with people. For example, we go out to bars where there are other people, invite people over for dinner to enjoy company, participate in extensive transportation systems infiltrated by people, and engage in barter and exchanges executed by people. Even if you look at the cyber world, we are seeking connections – we want people to be our friends online, we want to send emails and text messages to the “network,” and we love video connections to bridge distance gaps.
As humans, have you also observed that we are always seeking some sort of special connection with people? We want tension free family associations. We seek great friendships. We want a wonderful companion. Yet, these connections while we seek them, are also a contributor to our pain.
While we engage in friendships, we sometimes have disagreements leading for some friendships to break. While we choose marriage, we sometimes suffer through the bonds of the relationship only to choose the path of being single again. In family relationships, we have stresses that cause us to spend less time with some family members. If we choose a job but don’t like our relationship with our boss, we choose to resign.
One thing I have observed about the evolution of people as it relates to the problem situation they are in, is that once they break a bond in a relationship, they seek other relationships as a cure – only to fall entrapped in some of these relationships again, letting the social cycle of bonding and breaking continue. So, if a friendship goes awry, you find other friends to make associations. If a marriage breaks apart, you start to date or find another partner. If you resign from a job because of a co-worker, you find another job only again to make associations with a co-worker.
Observe closely and you will see what the major component is contributing to our pain – it’s the people – and if the pain contribution is extensive, we become uncontrollable. We point fingers at one another. We verbally and physically abuse one another. We scream and yell at one another. Worse, we kill one another.
This social network is something that we can’t escape. It is our natural instinct to seek people. While co-habitation can have its challenges, co-existence is necessary. The things you achieve in this life and contribution you make in the world will be done in collaboration with others. Every person you interact with will be different as they have a unique belief system, values, upbringing, genetics, interests, and opinions. It is only natural for people to disagree with you as neither of you are the same. Keep in mind that while man is a critical factor behind man’s problem, it is man itself who needs to be able to control his actions, words and thoughts toward man to create good. Holistically speaking, man can’t stop the creation of man – man can only temporarily stop man’s current existence. But can man even do this successfully?
Look at the global population over time – it’s been increasing which is evidence enough that we are surviving and thriving as a race despite actions that have eliminated man such as war, suicide, murder and genocide. While this is the case, this is still not reason to commit these crimes. What this means is that we can’t escape our interactions with others – co-existence is our innate duty. Realize that our bonds with others eliminates boredom by allowing diversity in our thoughts, behaves as a source of happiness as it provides a listening board for internal resolution, and provides motivation behind positive actions.
For now, be cognizant of the people in your life and the quality of your relationships. Realize we are all different and will always be. Improving these relationships is a continuous process that starts and ends with you. Let’s first start by thinking non-violence toward our self and others.