The world we live in thrives on criticism of others as well as criticism of ourselves. We love putting others to shame and guilt – and we do this simply because we ourselves are in pain, and it gives us relief to put others down to alleviate our pain.
If you are reading this and are on this journey called life, get ready to be criticized. You will be criticized for the way you look, dress, work, live, talk, act, believe, being single, staying married, family, driving, food you eat, etc.
There is nothing in this world where someone out there can’t find a fault in you. It’s so easy to find faults.
Criticism in my view is nothing but a complaint with the additional key element called judgement. Judgement is the stab against your character. Judgement is how someone creates guilt within you for your existence. Judgement is against your character, not your action.
In most cases, you will know the difference between a compliant and criticism as it will generally hit you in the stomach. It will give you that “gulp” feeling in the throat that says “yikes!” In many cases you will want to run away from the other person but may be restricted from going anywhere like your boss criticizing you in a meeting.
It doesn’t matter if it is a complaint or a criticism. As long as the element of judgement is vivid and it has impacted the joy within you – there is a problem.
Judging someone is the worst thing we can do – but in many cases we are blind to our action. We don’t know what we say or how we say it. Sometimes our bodily actions can portray an image of judgement. Who say’s complaining and criticism has to be based on verbal interaction? I think majority of the time we are creating judgement through non-verbal actions – facial expressions, hand gestures, bodily movements.
The art of living becomes how you react to judgement. If you are put to shame – won’t anger fume within you? Won’t the levels of stress increase? Won’t the sensations of self-guilt explode? Won’t self-doubts arise?
Won’t you question your very existence for living?
It’s this very question about why we belong on this earth, based on the punches of criticism we take, that will increase the pain-bodies within us. Get this inside your head: we can’t stop others from judging us – we can only control the door that allows that judgement to enter our system.
How do you create a shield against criticism?
- Realize you are loved. You are in this world because it was your right to be here. No one can say or do anything against your free mind’s will to take this away from you. Love may not be given by you through the person criticizing you but just realize you have someone on your side that loves your dearly – and if you can’t think of who that is – just look deep inside yourself.
- Flaws in others come to fruition in finding faults in you. You are perfect just the way you area. Don’t let yourself be eaten alive by other’s judgement. It’s a passing storm they are in, not you.
- Don’t react immediately to anything anyone tells you. This is the case even if it is embarrassing and in front of others. I know this sucks – but it is the other person’s fault for not realizing the value of your existence. It’s their ignorance. Learn to listen – silence is action.
- Welcome criticism with open arms. Let the other person get it out of their ignorant system – you control what you want to hear. Don’t let any thoughts about your character or well-being be impacted. Don’t try to stop the waterfall – just smite inside – and love the other person despite their ignorance about you.
- Realize the past is irrelevant as soon as action is complete. You can’t control other people’s action. It’s gonna happen so why fight back? This is going to be the biggest challenge for you and your test as people are going to get into your core, your past. You just need to shrug it off and realize the past is irrelevant for both of you – it’s done – why are you looking back and criticizing past actions? Resolution is forward-thinking, not backwards.
- Create a present-thinking consciousness. It only matters what is happening now. People will criticize you based on the circumstance they are in – something they have in their mind that they are consumed about that they are living in the past. You are not living in their past – you are living in the now – the perfect present, the perfect you.
- Fighting criticism with knives and guns is pointless. This is the worse thing you can do. It solves nothing and makes problems worse as it increases pain-bodies within you. Furthermore, it provides valid reasoning for others to criticize your character. The best way to fight back is never to raise a hand. Try to resolve the matter using calm words or seek help through others without violent action. A calm mind weathers all storms.
Let me reiterate that you can’t stop others from having a critical eye and being critical towards you. You can also try to run away from those people who criticize you – but the funny thing is that you will just find someone else who criticizes you in your new location.
Criticism creeps up when you may not be expecting it and hit you blindly. The bottom line is that you can’t stop others from criticizing you. The only thing in your control is how you react to the criticism. This will be a telling sign of how much happiness you can retain within yourself. It will drive how much energy you want to spend addressing the criticism.
Many times we waste our time fighting criticism when we should be focusing on building our happiness. As long as you live, you will have a critic. Don’t make judgement of those critics as sometimes these will come from those most closest to you.
Be yourself. Focus on being good and doing good. In the long run you won’t have to worry about making those critics your fan – You be your biggest fan.