Those whispering words that creep up when you don’t expect it – they say you can’t do it. They say are you are just not good enough. They say you are nothing in comparison to others.
These beliefs are generally presented to us by others when we don’t expect it. They are given to use when we don’t want it. The issue is that we can’t stop others from their actions and words.
Friends, parents, people walking the street will doubt every action that you take. They will ask such things as “why are you doing that?” or “how can you do that?” These very questions will place doubts inside of your head of your ability to take action. They will limit you from achieving your intended goals.
The truth is that these limiting beliefs are nothing but false assumptions and messages. They become beliefs within our personal operating system only when we chose to believe in it – but their goal is nothing but to derail our train from the tracks.
It will be a life-long mystery to understand stand why people place doubts in others abilities. The worst thing is that these limiting beliefs will come from those very people who you spend the most time with.
The crappy thing is that if limiting beliefs are placed within us on a continuing basis it trap us from taking any action at all. This is the very concept some circus’ use to tie a rope around a young elephant to keep them from escaping and as they get older and stronger they continue to tie this rope on their leg which places a limiting belief that they can’t break free even though they can rip right through the chain – but they have convinced themselves that they can’t.
It is not surprising to me that many of us are mad at our parents, friends, relatives, etc. for the very reason that they have been the ones to say things that places limiting beliefs that trap us. Sometimes their words may be use unintentionally but they can create pain-bodies within us for a long time.
The sad thing is that age is no bar for when a limiting belief may not be presented. Parents are experts at this with the ability to say things to you directly and expectedly. Friends will play what-if scenarios and present risks from their perspectives. Strangers will just question and doubt all actions you want to take.
The big question from this is what action you take. Yes, if you are planning on picking up a gun and friends are asking “why? why? why?” – then this makes perfect sense. But if you are contemplating such actions as making a move to another city, a job switch, or embarking on an adventure that will force you to pack everything up and travel the world – these are actions for your own personal growth and only you should own your action.
Here are some ways to deal with limiting beliefs and turn them into positive growth:
- Find positive things in any limiting belief. This may be a tough one to understand but one of the most important actions that I am still working on. Basically, the point is not to limit any thought you accept to believe in. For example, people may ask why do want to move to a new location. They will bring up negative things such as crime, safety, demographics, proximity to existing environment – but go beyond this looking at positive things such as opportunities to meet new people, change in environment, a new adventure – get my point?
- Live life without fear and take calculated risks. Realize limiting beliefs are based on other people being risk averse. To live life, you have to take some risk and live without fear. I am not saying to cross a raging river in a rubber tube. Be cautious. People place limiting beliefs in others as a way to control them. It’s the fear-based mentality that eats us inside. Remember, if you can overcome the fear battle, you will discover new things about yourself no one else will experience.
- Being angry towards others for what they say to you is pointless. Yes this can be tough if it is your boss, parent, or close friend due to attachment – but you can’t control other people’s action, just your reaction. First step is to be calm and smile. Next, do what you want.
- If you believe in your action and it is not physically harmful to others – just do it. You have nothing to lose. It doesn’t matter what others think or say. You will learn from all actions and decisions you make. There is no point thinking years done the road why you didn’t do something based on what one person said and made you believe. People will say things to try to guide you the best way based on their experience – but in the end you need to be your own guide and learn from any mistakes you make.