Ah! The holiday season is upon us. What a wonderful time of the year!
A couple of weeks ago, you may have had a great Thanksgiving if you were in the U.S. and the spirit of the holidays probably took you over kicking off the season. You enjoyed a nice turkey and stuffed your face with pumpkin pie – and If like thousands of people out there, the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) was probably a special day for you waking up early to get the best corporate deals in town to pick up as gifts, stocking stuffers, or just fancy yourself with some great items and sharp discounts.
Now, one thing I have noticed is the increase in violence occurring during this period over the years– it’s an increase in rudeness in how we treat people and fighting over the dumbest things.
Last year it was fights breaking out over cheap towels at Walmart. This year a stabbing incident over a parking spot, use a of stun gun in a mall brawl at 2:30 AM for some unknown yet what-I –think moronic reason, doorbusting through and tempers flaring at Walmart over 23 inch TVs.
It just doesn’t stop and the behavior is becoming more and more pervasive as the next Black Friday rolls around. Stampedes, rudeness, all-me-or-nothing behavior – what is this corporate “Jolliday” coming to? Isn’ t shopping part of a holiday tradition that should be fun? Shouldn’t shopping, plain and simple, be fun?
Why is shopping particularly on days like Black Friday turning into a scary experience? There are multiple reasons I see that could contribute to this. Here are some:
- The economy is so poor in the U.S. that any great deal that can be found – is worth fighting over
- It’s the survival of the fittest and who cares if people are in the way – only the strong shall survive as dictated by history
- A great deal will never ever come back – we must do everything in our control to get it now
- People have been standing outside in the cold or rain or snow for hours and are starting to worry – what if they don’t get the deal? No way we are gonna let this happen – we are going to get this deal, whatever it takes even if it means busting through the door and trampling someone over
- Corporate America is making us vulnerable – the difference between a great deal that can found during the year and one on this day is unknown and making us powerless – they have the upper hand and people want to be in control
It’s somehow as if this shopping day is driving ourselves against others. This part of the season and our selfish actions is what I am calling the start of the “All-I-Day” season. It’s a day that is not about keeping others in mind. It’s only about Me! It’s all about I!
Everything that is happening on this day is going against everything that is known to make us successful in collaborating and interacting with others. In other words, the I-centric mentality that selfishly drives us away from working with others gets exacerbated by greed, lust, worry, and lack of respect for others.
If one were to watch the running of bulls in Spain, the situation is quite similar during Black Friday. Storms of people ready to bust through the doors and trample others along the way ready to gore anyone in their path to get little Johnny’s favorite toy that is discounted. Ever watch a child burst a piñata? All the candy spews out for other kids to trample over one another to get the candy – this is what the holiday’s is turning into! A mad scramble for goods.
The funny thing is that while the cost to buy something during this time may be cheap, the price you are actually paying to get that item is much higher than you think. It’s costing you friendships you could be building. It’s costing you relationships you could be establishing that can help you get jobs, help your kids, or support you in general. The person you fighting with could be your next best friend. This breaking into fights to get material objects is the dumbest thing I have seen.
Let’s analyze the sequence of steps driving this behavior. You notice the cheap price advertised by the store and get pumped up that the price is the cheapest you have seen. Materialist desires start to take over. Corporate America has now got your right where they want to – hook, line and sinker! The store opens up at midnight and you get in line by 9 PM ready to wait 3 hours to get this one item. You start to think – am I going to get this? How many people are in front of me? How many people want the same item? Where in the store will it be placed? You worry. Anxiety builds up. Questions keep arising about how you will get the item.
As time approaches for the door to open up your eagerness and drive to get the object of desire increases. You start to formulate strategies of which aisle you will take to get to the line first. Some of you may stretch your legs. You approach the Olympic starting line ready to take off as soon as you hear the word that the store is opening. As the opening bell rings, the door opens up and an adrenaline rush pushes your legs forward. Nothing can stop you. You don’t want to be stopped. You can’t stop. You won’t stop. You can hurdle anyone. You are on a mission.
You will trample, rudely bust through, shove and push yourself over others so you can have your way. You will even punch and hit to get your way. There is no need to be nice. You don’t know any of these other shoppers anyway. You think this day is not about them. You say this is my deal, this has always been my deal, this moment is all about “me.” Everyone else is irrelevant. You may get the object.
I find it funny that the holiday season has two sides. On one side it’s about giving to others. We give gifts. We thank others. We attend our corporate holiday parties. We enjoy food and drink with others. It’s a great time with people. On the other side, it’s is an I-centric activity about greed that drive us to behave in a manner that contradicts thinking about others driven by material gain.
Greed is one of the biggest elements creating violence as evidenced by human behavior during Black Friday. Running over people to get a materialistic object at the cost of impacting relationships around others is selfishness – moreover, it’s foolishness.
Do not compete for these things! If you don’t get the deal you want at the cost of mistreating people, it will not be the end of the world. Busting through doors and running over fellow shoppers is not the way to start the holidays. The “I” mentality must go!
You are not doing anyone any good by treating others unfairly. You may find better deals online. Don’t fight over anything, even major items like electronics. If someone gets an item before you, that’s ok – you will get a chance next time. If you see things starting to rumble into an argument you take first action to stop. If you see yourself playing tug-of-war with another person over a piece of clothing or electronic item– just give it to them. So what if you don’t get this? It’s not worth your time. Don’t harm yourself by harming others.
The truth is that the best deal for the item is yet to come. You may be surprised how you can find a great deal for the same item on-line at peace at home, at another point in time. Just because you don’t get something now doesn’t mean you can’t get it tomorrow. Be careful with what is driving your wants and desires. Don’t let the pull of Corporate America drive you to create violence. If you get something at the cost of mistreating a person, it’s a lost cause.
The best price to pay for an item is one that you get at the cost of treating people fairly. Just relax and shop at ease. Now it can be a wonderful time of the year!